橘子鮮的部落格

書名《Better Than Before》 ---mastering the habits of our everyday lives 

作者 GRETCHEN RUBIN   

chapter review

1. SELF-KNOWLEDGE
   1. The Four Tendencies(The fateful tendencies we bring into the world)
   2. Different Solutions For Different People: Distinctions
2. PILLARS OF HABITS
   1. We Manage What We Monitor: Monitoring
   2. First Things First: Foundation
   3. If It's On The Calendar, It Happens: Scheduling
   4. Someone's Watching: Accountability
3. THE BEST TIME TO BEGIN
   1. It's Enough To Begin: First Steps
   2. Temporary Becomes Permanent: Clean Slate
   3. Data Point Of One: Lightning Bolt
4. DESIRE, EASE, AND EXCUSES
   1. Free From French Fries: Abstaining
   2. It's Hard To Make Things Easier: Convenience
   3. Change My Surroundings, Not Myself: Inconvenience
   4. A Stumble May Prevent A Fall: Safeguards
   5. Nothing Stays In VEGAS: Loophole-spotting
   6. Wait Fifteen Minutes: Distraction
   7. No Finish Line: Reward
   8. Just Because: Treats
   9. Sitting Is The New Smoking: Pairing
5. UNIQUE, JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
   1. Choose My Bale Of Hay: Clarity
   2. I'm The Fussy One: Identity
   3. Not Everyone Is Like Me: Other People
   4. Everyday Life In UTOPIA: Conclusion
6. Acknowledgments
7. QUIZ: THE FOUR TENDENCIES
8. RESOURCES TO REQUEST
9. START A BETTER THAN BEFORE HABITS GROUP
10. SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER READING
11. NOTES

• Questioners question all obligations......etc 第七大標(p391~394)有詳細測驗
• Almost always, if a Rebel is in a long-term relationship, that Rebel is paired with an Obliger. (the OB enjoys the Rebel's refusal to truckle to outward expectations)
• But Whatever our Tendency, we all share a desire for autonomy. If our feeling of being controlled by others becomes too strong, it can trigger the phenomenon of “reactance”, a resistance to something that's experienced as a threat to our freedom or our ability to choose. (even it's smt that we might otherwise want to do) The more we push, the more a person may resist.
• The Four Tendencies can provide valuable guidance to anyone trying to help others change e.g. a consultant, coach, trainer, or a therapist trying to help people achieve their aims. (If We're trying to persuade people to adopt a habit, we have more success if we consider their Tendency.

Q N A(NEXT WEEK~CUZ I'LL BE TRAVELING FROM TOMORROW: solved)

Q: “Which Tendency makes people the happiest? Also, which Tendency is the most successful?”

A: “It depends”(depends on how a particular person deals with the upside and downside of a Tendency. The happiest and most successful people are those who have figured out ways to exploit their Tendency to their benefit and found ways to counterbalance its limitations.)這邊我不得不提這本書吸引我的原因在於作者不斷強調沒有絕對的辦法，沒有所謂唯一的法門，大家都必須先認識自己，並且找出自己的方法; 複製成功人士或是成功過的辦法是沒有用的，畢竟不一定會有相同的人格傾向，或是物理條件、環境等。作者第一章排自我認識是很有道理的，只可惜一方面在認清自己，又驚又喜的同時，我不免有些徬徨(過去在沒有這方面概念、周圍人沒有這方面概念，加上周圍沒有同類存在的我實在是對自己又氣又不知如何是好，現在我總算不用再自我懷疑)，徬徨的是我的人格用兩個字形容: 難搞！(對自己和對別人都是---繼續我的入冬閉關規劃，為了和自己打持久戰XD)

#Rebels sometimes say they wish they could follow the rules, but they wouldn't want to stop being Rebels.#

# Every time you break the law you pay, and every time you obey the law you pay---We all must pay, but we can choose that for which we pay.#